The factory is silent. Its assembly line stands motionless. Somewhere off in the darkness, a buzzer sounds. One by one, lights begin to flicker and illuminate on long-unmanned diagnostic panels, giving a sense of enormity and complexity and scale to the machinery. The low hum of power supplies warming up comes next, followed by the higher and louder whine of turbines and electric motors. A whistle sounds, and one by one, employees begin to file in and take their places at the controls. Purposed for a single task, whose time has now come, the factory slowly comes to life...

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Books for men

So, like most couples who've recently realized they're going to have a baby, we took a trip to the bookstore in search of advice from people who've been through this sort of thing before. Thumbing through pregnancy guidebooks, you start to realize there are two major types written for women, the clinical "Here's What's Going On With Your Body and How to Deal With It" type-books, similar to the one we received for free* from the clinic, and the "OMG DO NOT DO ANYTHING REMOTELY RELATED TO ANYTHING OR YOUR BABY WILL BE BORN WITH TWO HEADS AND A TAIL" cautionary tomes. The latter would probably be good for a laugh were they not so gut-wrenchingly horrible and scary.

There was also a third type of book I noticed: the, "Hey Dad, We Know Your Wife's Pregnant and the Center of Attention, So We Re-Wrote This Women's Pregnancy Book From a Man's Perspective". Frankly, they kind of offended me, what with their insinuation that I was somehow incapable of reading a book written for a woman and parsing that information into what was applicable to me, while gaining more of an understanding what my wife is going through. Like I couldn't take "you may retain more water than usual and your hormone levels will change" and turn it into "your wife may retain more water, yadda yadda..." without buying a second book that did it for me.

Maybe I need to write one myself: "(For Once) This is Not All About You: Stop Whining and Start Helping". Chapter One: Don't worry that your wife's having all the "fun" right now... you get to carry the baby for the second nine months!

In all seriousness, though, if anyone knows a good book for expectant Dads that doesn't patronize or pander, I'd love to check it out. Otherwise, I'll keep getting in touch with my feminine side reading books that, while a bit on the clinical side, don't dumb it down for me.

* oh, I know they'll get their money back for it down the line...

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